Facing the Truth Sets Us Free
We take communication for granted. We assume that the other person we are talking to knows and understands what we mean.
But the same word can have plenty of different meanings.
I have been reflecting on myself a lot through a love story of mine that led to plenty of misunderstandings.
And now that I am thinking back and reflecting on what actually happened, I can see a lot of mistakes, and I have plenty of regrets.
How much two people can want the same thing while communicating something completely different, because behind each other's words they see something else. They see their fears.
I am someone healing from hyper-independence. I am just finding my feminine side again and realizing that it is not something I should feel ashamed of or hide. Also, I have always been a big dreamer. I mean, a real dreamer who takes her dreams seriously.
This man once told me that when we were together, living together, he didn't want me to work. He wanted me to make a home and focus on my "side hustle."
Because of my hyper-independence, my wounds, the shame I felt about my feminine side, and the way I viewed my dreams, I thought he wanted to take my freedom away. I thought he saw my dreams as something unimportant, something that could never grow or become financially significant. We never managed to properly talk it through.
I put up my swords for nothing. And I didn't even realize it. It had become such a deep part of my identity that I couldn't see it wasn't me speaking, but my wounds.
Because now that I am reflecting on all of our conversations, I am starting to see the bigger picture: how he actually wanted to give me the freedom I truly wanted. The ground I needed to grow toward the sky. And "side hustle" probably never meant something insignificant, but something I wouldn't have to worry about making money from.
I focused so much on what I thought it would take away from me that I couldn't see how much—and how valuable—what he wanted to give me actually was. And how deeply I long for that shared life—for someone to take some of life's burdens off my shoulders. Burdens I've carried alone for far too long.
The mechanism that once protected me from getting hurt even more became the foundation of my self-sabotage. I saw something that wasn't there. I let my fears and traumas lead me instead of my heart and my intuition.
Never take communication for granted.
Before you react, try to see whether it is you or your fears that are speaking.
Or whether it is you or your fears hiding behind silence.
Sometimes the truth is painful. Sometimes it means realizing how you sabotaged yourself for nothing. Sometimes over and over again because you didn't learn the lesson the first time.
But at the end of the day, this is what sets you free.
It can break the cycle.
It can lead to a better understanding and help you learn to hear the difference between your fears and your intuition.