I CANNOT ANSWER QUESTIONS THAT AREN’T ASKED
Oh, and another thing I don’t know whether I’m terribly sad or angry about.
People not only don’t know me.
They not only don’t take the time or make the effort to get to know me.
But they fuckin’ think they know me.
Or they have no fuckin’ clue, so they fill in the gaps with their own assumptions INSTEAD OF ASKING.
I CANNOT ANSWER QUESTIONS THAT AREN’T ASKED.
NEVER.
I am not a fuckin’ mind reader. I cannot cut open someone’s brain and search for those fuckin’ questions.
Holy shit.
But people are so smart. They know me better than anyone else. They always know exactly why I do things.
I leave something behind → it must be because I want to leave someone behind. It definitely must be personal and not simply because I want to do things differently.
I make a mistake → it must be because I intentionally want to fuck someone over. No, it couldn’t possibly be because I am a human being who is allowed to make mistakes because SHE IS NOT PERFECT.
I don’t stand up for someone → it must be because I hate that person. Not because, in that particular situation, I DISAGREE.
If I disagree → it must be personal. Not because I have my own brain, my own thoughts, and my own understanding of a situation.
I want to do a doctoral program → I have to be a controlled, conservative person. It is impossible that I am vain as fuck and want a Dr. in front of my name. And it is impossible that I value structured learning and meeting other smart people. And apparently, it is impossible that theatres and museums can be my life while I also love amusement parks and hiking, and that one of my childhood dreams is to try skydiving.
I have tons of tattoos → I must be some criminal underdog. It is impossible that they are simply my way of expressing myself. It is impossible that I read more in a week than some people do in a lifetime.
I want a structured, serious relationship → I have to be conservative. It is impossible that I don’t give a shit about what society expects. It is impossible that I fuckin’ know how I want to live my life and don’t need the approval or opinions of random people.
People believe they know me because they fill in the gaps with their own experiences and belief systems, and then cry about how unpredictable I am.
What a wild card I am.
Instead of fuckin’ talking to me.
AND ASKING.
Because if people dared to ask, they might realize that I am a much more structured human being than they ever thought.
I just stopped wasting my time answering questions that were never asked.
Because I realized that people don’t give a fuck.
They don’t want to understand me or get to know me.
They want me to make sense in the easiest way possible.
So they don’t have to realize that the boxes they use to categorize people are nothing more than old, stinking, structurally rotten pieces of shit.