I Choose Forgiveness
There is one more thing people usually made me feel insecure about.
It is my ability to forgive.
If I feel that someone is honest, is trying to change, and admits they were wrong, I will 100% forgive them.
This is how I work.
I naively believe that people are able to change if they want to.
If someone is willing to put the work into themselves, face what they have done, do the research, and learn, they can change.
And then, even if they deeply hurt me, I will forgive.
Because I believe that everybody deserves a second chance. Because we are human, and even with the best intentions, we just fuck things up. Sometimes over and over again.
It is what it is.
Of course, this forgiveness doesn’t mean a completely clean slate. Depending on the damage caused, I make people earn my trust again.
For a long time, I believed that I could never trust someone again after they had hurt me. But I don’t think like that anymore.
Because forgiveness comes with the ability to repair what is broken.
Have you ever heard of Kintsugi?
The Japanese art where broken pottery is repaired with gold.
What was once broken will never be the same again, of course.
But why can’t it become something better? A work of art born from shared effort, healing, and the decision to move on.
There is something beautiful about things that were broken but then repaired.
I believe that when we say, "I won't forgive. I won't forget," it is often our ego telling us that everything is about us.
But sometimes it is not about us. Sometimes it is about a lack of capacity, pain, family patterns, unhealed wounds, or simply not knowing what to do. It has nothing to do with us, but with the other person.
That’s why I am so forgiving. I know what it is like to fuck things up even with the best intentions. When you want to do the right thing but end up acting completely differently because you simply don't have the capacity.
Admitting that I am not perfect humbled my soul and opened my heart to forgiveness.
A bit cautious, a bit suspicious, but still real forgiveness, and a willingness to work through things together if the other person is willing to put in the work as well.
Honestly,
this life is too short to choose anger, hatred, and resentment instead of forgiveness and love.
In a world of ego and pride, I choose a different path.
One that is my own.
Because my inner compass knows better what is right than this wounded, unhealed world.