Overthinking is self-sabotage
Honestly, most of us take this life too seriously, knowing that in the end we all end up in the graveyard.
That overthinking...
Focusing on the rain and darkness inside while outside the Sun is shining and calling us to dance.
Imagining scenarios that would never happen.
Wanting to be the perfect of the perfect.
Wanting everything to come perfectly.
I have been there. I cannot tell you how much joy I missed because of what I thought X and Y would think.
I have always been insecure about how I look.
Really.
Extremely.
And it always stopped me from experiencing love to its fullest.
And not only that, but also from showing how crazy my mind actually is, how deeply I feel, who I am.
And this insecurity became even stronger when I thought that the man who loves me was just way too perfect for me.
He is smart, intelligent, successful, confident, fun, loyal as hell, incredibly handsome, he has money, and he wants to bring the stars down from the sky for me.
His whole presence is so terribly sexy that it instantly called out my feminine side, which I had carefully hidden behind the clouds.
And the only thing I could think was: what the actual hell does he see in me?
Me.
The black sheep.
The one who fits nowhere.
The weirdo.
The crazy one.
Who lives an extremely ordinary life and doesn't even think she looks that good.
What the hell does a guy want from me when he could get any girl he wants without even lifting a finger?
Self-sabotage at its best.
This is how you can kill something beautiful that comes into your life.
With my own insecurity and disbelief, I pushed someone out of my personal space, even though he came with pure love and appreciation.
I didn't see what he saw in me.
Now I do.
I do see what he actually saw in me and why he found it valuable.
Everybody wants the Sun in their life, but only a few can get it.
I could have given him so much joy, happiness, and laughter that not many people can.
I could have given him my sharp mind, which he told me many times he loved, but I never actually believed him.
I hid so many layers of the way I think that I couldn't even understand how he saw that my mind was sharp.
And my warm heart.
And my strength.
Honestly, I didn't think these things were actually valuable enough.
That these qualities were lovable enough for someone who could have anyone to choose them.
Because no one before had ever truly valued them.
Not even me.
I saw them as something insignificant.
Something natural.
I believed he was just too good for me.
So I did everything possible to push him away.
So, guys, life is way too short to overthink.
Regulate your mind, become better, and don't ruin the good things coming into your life.