Practicality Also Killed the Cat
But I'm not going to lie, I cannot tell you how much I hate it. I wish, I really wish someone would take care of these things for me so the only thing I have to do is create and be messy. I mean, someone organizing a vacation without asking me more than what I'm up to, someone handling daily things like calling the plumber or getting the car fixed or whatever. I guess I've become old enough not to want to solve everything alone.
Whatever.
So I love creating things, but when it comes to the practical side of creation, I feel like crying. I mean, looking for a publisher or a grant, or posting on social media... oh God, save me. The creative force in me wants to hang itself.
I made up my mind to look for some grants for my short stories, but after 15 minutes I honestly felt like closing everything, walking into the forest, and never coming back. Don't worry, I kept searching for another hour after that (there is no point in trying more in my country), but really, it felt like a real burden.
I should also advertise this blog, but hell, I hate it. And now, while I am writing this, I am laughing so hard at myself. It seems like new beginnings don't come with a completely new personality, but with being more aligned with myself.
And being more aligned with myself also means hating practical stuff even more.
Houston, we have a problem...
Never mind, I'm in the writer mode today, so I will dive into the volume of short stories I am planning to write. The art of letting go... making art out of pain, trauma, loss, letting things and people go that I never wanted to.
I guess it will touch me emotionally again.
But.
Good thing.
Facing my miscarriage seems less scary than looking for a publisher.