Right or Wrong Way to Feel
I’ve reached the point where I seriously need to look inward and try to draw a boundary.
Where is the line between victim mentality and blaming myself for everything?
Because, let’s be honest: when it comes to human connections, not a single adult is completely innocent. Adults have choices.
But there is an even deeper level to this whole thing: who am I when I put down everything people have made me believe is right?
The right way to feel. The right way to think. The right way to believe.
Who am I when I decide for myself what is right and what is wrong?
When I push away the old teachings, the old, false boundaries?
Because, let’s be honest: the rule “do not kill” doesn’t come from some unicorn-fart-colored love story. The shame we feel for our instincts doesn’t necessarily make them disappear. Sometimes, it only teaches us to bury them.
We live in a false, dishonest society that wants us to hide our deepest desires and instincts. Not only to hide them, but to fear them. To feel ashamed of them. To dig them so deep that we convince ourselves we will never have to meet them again.
But in the end, they become landmines.
This society is built on pure hypocrisy. No wonder terrible hatred spreads. We were never really taught about REAL emotional regulation, which begins with acknowledging our feelings — even the deepest, most instinctive ones, the ones we don’t even have words for.
The only difference between us and animals is our intelligence, our brain, and the complex systems we have built around them.
The rule “do not kill” doesn’t come from some magical, idealistic story about love. It comes from understanding that humanity needs to stick together to survive. Knowing that if I can kill anyone I’m angry with, then I can also be killed by someone who is angry with me, for no real reason.
The rule “do not steal” doesn’t exist because humans have no desire to steal. It exists because we understand how much harm stealing can cause. Because if it becomes acceptable, then next time, we could be the ones suffering.
We live in a society that makes us feel ashamed of our deepest instincts — instincts that cannot simply be weeded out.
And the best part is that society cherry-picks.
Oh, hypocrisy — how much harm have you caused?
How much suffering? How much hidden pain? How many suicides? How many homicides?
Because the fucking solution is not hiding our feelings.
It is acknowledging them and learning how to regulate them.
How many people never asked for help because they felt ashamed of what they were feeling?
How much pain have we caused by telling people what they are supposed to feel?
Hell, there is no right or wrong way to feel.
A feeling is a fucking feeling.
There are right and wrong choices. Right and wrong actions. Right and wrong decisions.
It would be nice to finally put down this stupid hypocrisy.