Stupid Pink Knife
The saddest realization is that from now on, I have to make decisions based on the fact that I won’t be here anymore in a year and a half.
A year and a half feels so short and so long at the same time.
Too short to get everything done and say goodbye.
Too long to wait before I can start building something new.
Changing my plans from Italy to Australia changed a ton of things — especially what I can bring with me.
Staying in the EU would have meant a longer adaptation period, more opportunities to bring things with me later, etc.
But another continent?
Way fewer possibilities.
This means real purging.
Memories, stuff that “will be useful later,” etc. have to go.
No furniture, no bigger things, no car… nothing?
Just some clothes, some memories, and some necessities.
While I am writing this, I stop from time to time to process it all and fidget with this stupid pink knife…
This knife looks incredibly stupid in this color, honestly.
But at least it is sharp as hell.
And yeah, I am fidgeting with it.
So many things to sell, so many things to leave behind… And I can barely buy myself anything because if I won’t be here in a year and a half, what is the point?
It is just sad…
I don’t only have to leave behind my old life, but also my sweet memories and the things that mattered to me.
For something absolutely uncertain.
Where I don’t know not only what the future holds, but even what the next day will bring.