The Flow
It is very meta to write about writing. A little bit mind-blowing.
But it is kind of fun.
I have never, ever experienced a flow like this before.
It seems like the external pressures I was under held me back to the point where I forgot what flow really feels like.
I mean, I could always lock in and create, but something would eventually stop me. A new thought that distracted me. Boredom. Silence.
Silence honestly kills me when it comes to creating.
I don't even understand why I believed other people instead of listening to my own flow. Some people genuinely tried to convince me that music only distracts me and ruins my work.
I mean...
I think I know better.
Music, dancing, and jumping from task to task actually lead to much better results and far greater efficiency than trying to force myself to focus.
I walk back and forth, read a few pages, then think about my own progress, jump back to the book, return to my own writing, do a little cleaning, and then start all over again.
Like a never-ending cycle.
I think I was never the issue.
The issue was the one-size-fits-all mentality, and the fact that I wasn't giving my brain the stimulation it actually needed.
So, let's get back to business.
Without revealing the actual story:
The main character is a 34-year-old woman who wants to completely change her life after experiencing a mental breakdown. What caused that breakdown is explained in the previous post, so I'm not going to repeat it here.
She has the kind of life that most people would call perfect: a good job, a good husband, and a good salary.
But she is unhappy.
While everyone else believes she is happy.
She is pretty, charming, always smiling—the typical ray of sunshine who helps everyone and never wants to be a burden.
That is why everyone is completely shocked by her mental breakdown and by her decision to burn down the life she built in order to choose a completely different path.
A creative path she has always wanted to follow.
Yeah, the similarities are not coincidences.
I use my own life as inspiration.
But the main character is not me.
And the characters are not people from my life either.
They are archetypes of the typical reactions people have when they witness someone completely changing their life.
Throughout my life, I have met many different kinds of people who, in one way or another, wanted to stop me—or at least hold me back.
And I can honestly say that none of them had bad intentions.
Everyone had their own traumas and belief systems that made them react the way they did.
And I am certainly not the only person who wants to make drastic changes in her thirties and live a more authentic life.
So no.
This story is not about me.