The Next Character
Have you ever woken up from a nap feeling like you had been hit by a train?
Yeah...
That's me right now.
And...
I decided to follow one of those fantastic life coach pieces of advice:
"Go to sleep believing that when you wake up, something amazing will happen."
I just didn't think that amazing thing would be me actually managing to get out of bed.
I mean...
It is a miracle that I managed to get up in this condition instead of simply rolling over and...
Doing nothing.
Yeah, I guess.
But then nobody would do what I wanted to get done today.
And I only have seven and a half hours left, which honestly isn't that much.
At the same time, I have had this strange feeling all day that I have to do something.
That I am missing something.
I have been spiraling around that feeling all day, looking for signs, checking through keyholes, hoping I might find it...
But I have no clue.
It isn't that I forgot something.
Or that I missed something.
It is the feeling that I have to do something for some miracle to happen, but I have absolutely no fucking clue what.
And it is driving me crazy.
Whatever.
Let's get back to business instead.
Maybe if I keep working on the play, some miracle really will happen, and I will finally realize what the fuck I have been missing.
So...
I chose the new friend as the next character.
She is 26 years old, pretty, and smiles all the time. She comes from a well-off, but not wealthy, family. She always had the opportunity to do whatever she wanted because her parents gave her the freedom to experience life. At the same time, they always held her accountable for her actions, so she learned how to set healthy boundaries.
She has a job that fulfills her. She is a creative professional in a multinational company where she is accepted with all her flaws. She has her own hardships, but she is surrounded mostly by people who accept her exactly as she is, including her AuDHD.
Her early diagnosis helped her adapt, and because her supportive parents were financially comfortable, they could afford private schooling with alternative teaching methods. As a result, she never had to mask every part of herself.
She has a degree in a creative field and genuinely loves what she does. She is satisfied with both herself and her life and has strong self-confidence.
Her smile attracts a lot of men, but she rarely gives any of them her attention.
She finds the main character fascinating and inspiring. She genuinely wants to help her in any way she can because she sees the value not only in who she is but also in the work she creates. Sometimes she is a little slow to reply because she gets distracted by life.
She grew up surrounded mostly by supportive people. That is why she is naturally supportive of others and encourages them to follow their dreams as well. However, because of her positive experiences, she sometimes struggles to understand what it feels like to be constantly surrounded by people who hold you back. That is why she unintentionally says things that hurt the main character, such as, "Just leave them behind." She genuinely believes that confidence comes from making a decision rather than being deeply rooted in family patterns.
Her biggest fear is not living life to the fullest and wasting her potential. That is why she works more than she probably should. She enjoys it, but sometimes life passes her by, causing her to miss opportunities for meaningful relationships.
Her core belief is that pursuing your dreams is a birthright.
By the end of the play, she realizes how privileged she was to grow up in an environment where authenticity was nurtured instead of punished.
And she teaches the main character that the life she longs for actually exists—and that it is available to her.
Hm...
I just had an interesting thought.
Maybe I have been isolating myself and feeling lonely because I am done with my old life.
And if I go out or keep doing the same things, it almost feels like I am accepting more of that old life.
So maybe my isolation is actually transformation.
Maybe I want to experience both myself and my life in a way I never have before.
And honestly...
That makes sense.
I don't want anything to be the way it used to be.
But every time I think about doing something...
It is always the same thing I used to do.
Except for this blog.
And this play.
Maybe that feeling I have been spiraling around all day is actually the desire to start living that new life.
The only problem is...
I honestly don't know what that looks like yet.
Really.
I have absolutely no fucking clue.
So...
I'll keep working.