Tides are changing
It has been a long and painful journey of self-awareness, but I can tell you this: this is the end. I only need to take a few more final steps in this awakening to finally, truly know who I am.
And to put some of my personality traits where they actually belong.
One of them is my strong sense of initiative. I have always loved new ideas — bringing them to life, experimenting with them. But I was always too much for people.
Too proactive. Too ambitious. Too proud. Too unhinged. Too experimental. Too curious. Too direct. Too honest.
And as a woman, society taught me that I couldn't be like that.
These traits are too "manly."
I mean, I myself have never had a problem with telling a guy that I like him and that I want something more.
In short: society can fuck off.
I mean — there are no "male" or "female" traits. It's all bullshit, because generational trauma has taught us to feel like dealing with emotions is a terrible thing.
So again.
Society → fuck off.
And if me being myself is going to be a problem for anyone → they can fuck off as well.
I am not dealing with this bullshit anymore.
Just like a man can cry and be vulnerable, I, as a woman, can be assertive and ambitious.
I won't apologize for my drive.
I won't apologize for telling someone that I like them.
I won't apologize for wanting more from my life than what society expects me to do.
Society doesn't need to deal with me.
I do me.
And I do deal with society.
And there's one more thing.
No one will ever dare tell me again that I don't need to prove anything to anyone.
I know exactly that I don't need to.
I WANT to.
I don't need to prove anything to MYSELF.
Because I know exactly what I am capable of. I don't need to convince myself that I can achieve this or that. I have enough self-awareness and confidence for that.
But I want to show this fuckin' world what I am capable of.
As justice for the little, ambitious, dreaming girl I once was.
As justice for the woman I could have been without outdated, stupid, pointless social rules.
And as justice for all the girls whose dreams were broken because of social expectations.
And even for the little boys — so that they will never, ever have to feel like they are less because they aren't that ambitious or don't want to conquer the world.
And for future generations: to show them that they can be whoever the fuck they want to be, because they don't need to follow outdated and stupid rules.
And no one will stop me.
No one.
Ever.