Tricks
And the biggest and most painful trick my mind is trying to play on me is making me believe that I don’t deserve.
I don’t deserve the things I want: the iPad, the orange farm, the interactive desk.
I don’t deserve the freedom I crave: financial and emotional freedom, the freedom to create.
I don’t deserve a love full of passion, joy, and adventure. One where I am spoiled like a queen.
I don’t deserve the creative flow I want to ride.
I don’t deserve my crazy ideas.
I don’t deserve to be heard.
I don’t deserve to be truly, authentically myself.
But fuck this shit as well. I deserve all of it, and I don’t even need to work harder. I just have to look at things in a different way.
The peace, the freedom, the love, the creativity, the craziness—they are all already inside me. Reality only has to catch up.
But I am enough.
More than enough to receive.
It doesn’t matter what my mind wants me to believe. It doesn’t matter how hard it tries.
Slowly, it is losing all its power over me.
It cannot guilt-trip me for weeks over some small, stupid shit I did nine years ago.
It cannot guilt-trip me for choosing to sleep and get proper rest instead of having sleepless nights.
It cannot guilt-trip me for trying the impossible and doing what makes no sense to anyone else but me.
It cannot make me believe that, for good things to happen, I have to work harder and harder and harder.
I just deserve them.
I have already done enough.
I won’t let my mind hurt me again.